


All I Really Need To Know (I Learned In Kindergarten)

by pikasafire



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-11
Updated: 2012-06-11
Packaged: 2017-11-10 10:56:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikasafire/pseuds/pikasafire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yep, it's a multi-team kindergarten fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Really Need To Know (I Learned In Kindergarten)

This is almost more not!fic than anything else. But, [](http://masterpenguin82.livejournal.com/profile)[**masterpenguin82**](http://masterpenguin82.livejournal.com/) was complaining that I haven’t written gen fic. This is really just setting it up for random snippets of kindergarten fic (like class elections, and the class pet and their first field trip!) 98% ridiculousness.

 

  
*

**BLACKHAWKS**

Johnny is always the first one to arrive. He puts his bag carefully in his cubby and pulls out his special box of pencils and his new colouring book, then he walks quietly to his seat on the Blackhawks table and colours silently while he waits for the day to start. He's got to practice colouring if he wants to be good at it. In comparison, everyone can hear it when Pat arrives. He's loud and shrill and he still cries at least twice a week when his Mom drops him off, even though he loves kindergarten. Pat is Johnny's assigned seat buddy, though Johnny's totally not impressed with this arrangement.

Today, they're supposed to be drawing their families, and five minutes after they've been given their task, Pat thrusts his drawing in Johnny's face. “Finished before you! I win!”

Johnny looks at it, and then looks at his own. "It's not very good,” he scowls. “It’s really messy. You have to try harder."

Pat looks down at his scribbled drawing again and then stares at where Johnny's carefully colouring some hair on his Mom. Pat's not bothered by the criticism, but screws his nose up and pulls the stupidest face he can in Johnny’s direction. "Okay.” He decides after a moment, when that gets boring. “But I need new paper.”

Johnny just nods, looking at him very seriously. "If you try harder, you can share my special pencils. But you have to be really careful."

Pat thinks that's a pretty good deal. Pat's usually _never_ allowed to use Johnny's pencils. And he has _all_ the colours. Pat’s lost most of his.

Duncan and Brent are also on the Hawks table. Duncan is quiet and kind of shy, but Brent makes up for it - he's not as noisy as Pat, but he's always giggling about something - he and Duncs have this secret code that they talk in that Johnny finds really annoying because he hates it when he doesn't understand things, but Pat thinks it's really cool. Brent won't teach him though because Duncan and Brent have this really exclusive club and they won't let Pat join yet because Pat's still a baby - the other boys on the table are already six but Pat's still five. Brent says maybe when Pat gets older. Pat would cry, but he really, really wants to join and Brent won't think he's grown up if he cries. (He totally cries when he gets home though. He hates being left out.)

Sitting across from Johnny and Pat is Patrick Sharp. The teacher decided that Patrick Kane has to be 'Pat' and Patrick Sharp has to be 'Patrick'. It gets confusing anyway. Patrick never gets in trouble because he's perfected the big blue eyes and the innocent face, so even though he does horrible things like putting pink glitter in Pat's hair, he always gets away with it. Patrick sat with Adam Burish until the incident with the paint. (it was a joke! They didn't _mean_ to!) Then Adam was made to move to the Stars table in the classroom across the hall with Mr. Tortorella. None of the Blackhawks talk about it much because it makes Patrick sad that his absolute best friend ever isn't around anymore - across the hall is like a whole different world.

Halfway through the term, Andrew is made Patrick's new seat buddy. Andrew's okay, he's a _baby_ though - he's only _just_ five (Pat is glad - maybe now Duncan and Brent will let Pat join their club since he's not the baby of the table anymore.) Patrick can’t believe he’s being made to sit with a _baby_ , but he finds it hard to mind after the first time Andrew helps Patrick fill Pat's pencil box with worms.

 

**PENGUINS**

Sid doesn't have many friends. The other Penguins seem to like him well enough, but at break times, he's usually left sitting alone. He doesn't mind.

Sometimes Kris and Marc-Andre will remember he exists, and ask if he wants to come out and play dinosaurs with them. Sid accepts sometimes, but he doesn't really understand how he's supposed to be a dinosaur. He's a _person_ , and he doesn't want to pretend to eat people. That's just _weird_. Plus, sometimes Marc and Kris forget Sid's there and they start talking in French. Sid speaks a little bit, but not enough to be able to keep up and Sid hates not understanding things more than anything else ever.

There's only five kids on the Pens table, instead of six, so Sid's never had a seat-buddy. It's never really bothered him. School's okay, even if the other kids are mean to him sometimes (especially the stupid kids on the Flyers table next to them) and then Geno joins the class. Geno's like a giant - he's like, eleventy bajillion feet tall and he looks much older than six. It takes the class about four seconds to realise Geno doesn't speak much English and the kids mostly lose interest. Sid doesn't care, he just pushes his pencils over for Geno to share and gives him a big smile.

Geno becomes Sid's best friend a few weeks later, when Sid's getting a hard time from the Flyers in the playground. It's nothing too serious, but that stupid tiny Claude kid has been calling him names, and normally Sid ignores it, but he's _not_ a tattletale, okay? There are rules! And people should follow them! And he's not a baby and he's _not crying_ , he just has something in his eyes. But Claude's got his hands on his hips, and is standing right there and Sid loses his temper and pushes him over. Claude's eyes are wide and startled for a moment before he bursts into noisy tears, which brings Mr Bylsma running. It's loud and confusing and there's lots of people around and so Sid starts crying too, because now _he's_ going to be in trouble, even though it was definitely all Claude's fault.

Sid doesn't even realise Geno's there until he feels someone take his hand. "Is okay, Sid," Geno says, squeezing his hand, "We tell Mr. Bylsma." and Sid squeezes back.

Jordan used to sit with Max across from Sid. Sid's not entirely sure what happened to Max. Sid thought he was pretty cool, and Max always told lots of jokes and was noisy and funny. And then he just moved and sat at the table with the _Flyers_ and started laughing and joking with stupid Claude.

Sid hates Max.

He doesn't really know that much about Jordan, except he's got, like, a million brothers and is always in clothes that are a little bit too big. One time, a few weeks ago he came to school and his head was almost completely shaved. Sid wanted to know what happened, but Jordy just muttered something about Eric and Marc and refused to say anything else. Jordy’s a little weird.

 

**FLYERS**

Danny is the oldest in the class. Some of the kids have only just turned five, and Danny is six. He'll be _seven_ before the end of the year. So, he doesn't know why he gets stuck with _Claude_ as a seat-buddy. Claude's still a baby. Other than Andrew and Sean, Claude is the youngest. He looks it too, with giant eyes and little ginger baby curls.

Claude has arbitrarily decided that Danny is his best friend. Danny does not agree. It's not that he hates Claude. For a baby, he's okay. He likes dogs and sports and they're both really good at math. It's just, Claude's really little and Danny's a lot more grown up, and so they just can't be friends. It's probably for the best.

Claude just looks at Danny funny when he tries to explain this. "We're in the same class," Claude says, like this negates everything, "Wanna play space aliens?"

Danny stares at him for a moment and then sighs. Claude doesn't get it at _all_. "Fine," he says. "But you have to be the alien."

Danny supposes it could be worse. He could have _Sasha_ from the Capitals table as his seat-buddy. Sasha is a weirdo. Though he's probably not as weird as Ilya. Ilya thinks his dog is a _person_ and talks a lot about stuff Danny doesn't understand about stars and stuff, but, Ilya is a Flyer too, so Danny likes him okay. Plus, Ilya always has awesome stickers that he's happy to share.

Ilya's seat-buddy is supposed to be Sean, but Sean is tiny and new and absolutely terrified of Ilya. Weirdly enough, he takes a shine to Scotty instead, following him around like a little puppy. Scotty doesn't mind so much - even though Sean's tiny, he's always totally willing to playfight in the yard. He's always got smudges of dirt all over his face and a grin like being covered in mud is the best thing ever. Scotty and Max have the _best plans ever_ and at lunchtimes they go outside to their secret base underneath the slide and they let Sean join them, even though he’s littler than them. The best game to play is pirates, but they have to be really, _really_ careful that Mr Bylsma doesn’t see them. They get their swords out of the hiding place in the bushes, waiting quietly in wait until one of the other boys walks past and then they leap out and chase them across the playground with their sticks. It’s the best game ever. Sean’s pretty sure kindergarten is the best thing to ever happen to him.

 

**CAPITALS**

The Capitals table is the loudest in the room. Which is strange considering only half of them speak a reasonable amount of English. Alex Ovechkin is hands down the noisiest person in the room. Possibly even in the whole school. Even louder than Pat, even. (Johnny glares over at the Capitals table frequently, sighing about how he can't _concentrate_ on his work if there's so much noise.) Alex's English isn't very good, but he's enthusiastic if nothing else. Sometimes he wanders over to babble to Geno, stealing Sidney’s chair and chattering away in Russian.

Sidney doesn’t take very kindly to Alex being in his spot. Touching his pencils and drawing on his paper and Geno is _Sid’s_ friend. Sid doesn’t like the unhappy, twisty feeling in his stomach when he sees Geno laughing with Alex, even though he thinks _everyone_ should love Geno because he’s awesome. He doesn’t like to share and he really, _really_ doesn’t like Alex, and so he just stomps his foot and shouts until Mr. Bylsma sighs and makes Alex move back to his own table.

No one else in the class really talks to the Caps. There's weird, and there's _weird_. Alex sits with Alex Semin, who is the only person in the class who can make any sense of what Alex is saying, regardless of what language he's speaking. Not that anyone really understands Alex Semin either. In the beginning, Mr Bylsma kept talking about moving Alex Semin to the Hawks table and Pat to the Caps, to make the names less confusing, but Pat burst into tears, and Alex Ovechkin let loose with a string of garbled, panicked Russian, so Alex Semin is now just called Sasha. Johnny's glad. Pat's annoying, but Sasha is annoying _and_ weird. Even weirder than Pat. At least Pat doesn't dunk his cookies in ketchup. That's just gross.

Braden is the newest class member and, three days after he joins, he still seems completely bewildered at the weird kids he's being forced to sit with. Mike and Brooks are pretty happy to let Braden share their pencils though they have all sorts of weird jokes and tricks they like to play on Nicky, and Braden’s never really included in that. He’d probably be more bothered if it weren’t for the fact that Nicky always gets really angry and shouts things that none of them can really understand. Mike and Brooks just find it funny, and it usually means that Nicky sits with Braden for break, over in the cubby, glaring over at the other boys from their awesome fort and making up plans to get revenge.

Nicky's English is pretty good - he knows all the important words, like 'lunch', 'dinosaur' and 'hockey'. Braden doesn't mind because Nicky's been teaching him all the fun words in Swedish, though the idea that the world is bigger than his house and his Grandpa's house and kindergarten is a little confusing. He figures Swedish is like a secret code that only he and Nicky will know, and that makes it awesome.

But, for the most part, Braden tries to avoid Alex and Sasha. Nicky tells him that they’re awesome and funny, but the first time Braden meets Alex, Alex jumps on him and shouts something in his ear and runs away with Sasha cackling behind him. Braden can’t help being a little scared of them. Nicky tries to convince him that that’s just how they say hello, but, Braden doesn’t get it. Can’t they just talk like normal people?

*

Mr Bylsma stands in the centre of the classroom, staring down at the twenty-four little boys running around the tables and he takes a deep breath. It’s going to be a long year...

END  


 

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